


Jail Honestly Seems Better

by TheDeathEcchi



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Bank robbery shenanigans, F/F, Humor, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 09:44:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6748723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeathEcchi/pseuds/TheDeathEcchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A prison cell seemed far more appealing than spending another five minutes with the worst kidnap victim ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jail Honestly Seems Better

"No one fucking move; this is a robbery!"

That's what Chloe Price had rehearsed for at least nine days before enacting her theft of the bank, but her nervousness, coupled with the joint she smoked to combat said nerves, it came out more along the lines of:

"I'm stealing all your shit!"

Raising her gun high, she fired a warning shot, biting back a scream when the bullet ricocheted and turned a lovely stained glass lamp into a lovely pile of rainbow glass. 

Rushing to the counter, she slammed her burlap sack (she had a thing for the classics) onto the teller's desk and demanded 'all the money, right fucking now'. The panicked worker nodded and began filling the sack with wads of cash.

And that's when she heard the sirens.

"A silent alarm!?" shouted Chloe, slamming her fist on the counter. "Fucking really? I robbed you in good conscience; how're you gonna do me like this!?"

Panic overtaking her common sense, she looked around for a hostage, a bartering chip to use so the cops wouldn't open new holes in her as she tried to escape. Her eyes settled on a blonde about her age, back to her. Unbelievably, she was texting, as though this situation was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

Chloe zoomed over to the blonde, pinned her arms behind her back, and began dragging her out of the bank. "Anyone follows me, and the preppy chick gets it!" She was bluffing; there was no way she was going to shoot anyone. But they didn't need to know that.

As she brought her outside, she saw the cops were only a few blocks away. Tying the blonde's hands behind her back and shoving her in the back seat, she hopped behind the wheel and sped off.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, fucking fuck!" yelled Chloe, hitting the steering wheel in frustration. "I'm so fucking dead! Fucking silent alarm bullshit!"

Letting out a sigh, she decided to concentrate on the road, and the red lights that, at this moment, meant absolutely nothing to her.

"Hey."

Chloe glanced in the rearview mirror to see that her hostage had managed to get herself onto the seat and was looking at her with what could only be described as boredom.

"What do you want?" sighed Chloe, rubbing her temples.

"The rope hurts."

"...And what do you want me to do about it?" 

"Untie me. Or at least loosen them."

Chloe almost swerved the car from shock at the blonde's incredulity. "Uh, what? Fuck no! And you're the hostage here; you're not exactly in a position to make demands."

The blonde sighed and rolled her eyes. The ride continued in silence, until she spoke up again, as the sun was beginning to set.

"I'm bored."

"So what do you want me to do about it?" 

"Turn on the radio. I want some music."

"So, do you not get this whole 'I kidnapped you' thing, or has all the peroxide fried your brain?"

Her captive snorted. "Peroxide? These golden locks are all natural. Not like your hair."

"I am so s--" Chloe paused. "What do you mean 'not like my hair'?"

"Well, unless you're an anime character, I doubt blue hair is natural."

Slowly, Chloe reached up to touch her face. Where she should've felt the soft fleece of her ski mask, she instead felt her own skin. Her mask must've fallen off at the bank. Meaning that everyone, her hostage included, saw her face.

And her very noticeable, and distinct, blue hair.

"SHIT!" screamed Chloe, slamming her head on the steering wheel.

Her abductee burst into laughter, almost falling off the seat. "Oh my god, is this like, your first day of crime, or something!? You suck at this!"

"Shut up! I'm not gonna get talked down to from some preppy blonde bitch!"

"First off, my name is Victoria, second, you're terrible at crime!" She burst into giggles. "You don't disable the alarms, you go solo, and you grab the first person you see as leverage. Do you even have a safehouse?"

Chloe felt her heart sink even lower. She hadn't considered that. She'd just been driving and driving. She had no idea where to.

Her silence sent Victoria into another round of laughter, tears streaming down her reddening cheeks. "Holy shit, I'm...I'm...oh, God it hurts...I'm gonna pee, I'm laughing so hard...you are--and I mean this in the best possible way--the worst criminal I have ever met."

"Fuck off." hissed Chloe, and even she admitted it was a weak reply.

"I'm hungry."

Chloe turned to stare at Victoria, who looked completely serious. "And?"

"Stop off somewhere so I can eat."

"I just committed a felony; I'm not gonna stop somewhere just so you can stuff your face and I risk getting caught!"

"...I'm hungry."

Chloe's fingers inched towards her gun before realizing it wouldn't be wise to shoot her leverage. "Suffer in silence, 'cuz I'm not stopping."

Victoria frowned. "I. Am. Hungry."

"And I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck."

"Feed me, or else."

Now it was Chloe's turn to snort. "Or else what?"

A wicked smile spread across Victoria's face. "This is the song that doesn't end..."

Chloe's eyes tripled in size. "Oh, fuck no."

"Yes, it goes on, and on, my friends..."

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up with that."

"Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was..."

"I'll shoot you. I'll fucking shoot you."

"And they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end..."

Chloe gripped the steering wheel tight, gritting her teeth. She wouldn't stop. She wasn't going to let her win.

-/-/-/-/-

A half-hour later and Chloe was debating driving off the side of a cliff. Surely she would die, but then so would her frustrating abductee. A half-hour she'd been singing, and didn't show any signs of stopping. She annoyed Chloe to no end, but she had to admit, the girl had a set of pipes.

"...yes it goes on, and on, my friends..."

Chloe could see the familiar sight of Golden Arches, which, in her current state, might have been the gates of paradise. "If I go through the drive-thru, will you, for the love of Christ, STOP SINGING!?"

"...Sure." smiled Victoria. "Whatever you want."

Silently thanking whatever gods their were (and damning whatever devils spawned her captive), Chloe peeled into the drive thru line of McDonald's. The ringing was slowly starting to leave her ears, and as she reached the menu, her own thoughts began to echo in her head again. 

"Ugh, fast food?" sighed Victoria. "I should've guessed you'd pick someplace like this."

A prison cell seemed far more appealing than spending another five minutes with the worst kidnap victim ever.

"Just order something, you bitch." groaned Chloe.

After ten agonizing minutes of choosing (that Chloe swore Victoria did on purpose), they drove away, food in hand, and Chloe deciding that, if she were to live through this ordeal, she'd go straight. No amount of money was worth dealing with this.

"You know you're gonna have to feed me, right?" huffed Victoria as she eyed the bag of slow death.

"And why in the name of fuck am I gonna do that?"

"Are you gonna untie my hands?"

"No!"

"Then you're gonna have to feed me."

"Son of a FUCK."

Pulling over to the side of the road, Chloe fished a burger out of the bag, and very reluctantly held it up to Victoria. 

"Pickles?" The blonde wrinkled her nose. "I told them no pickles..."

Ripping off the top bun, Chloe grabbed the pickles and hurled them out the window, the offending vegetables disappearing into the night. "Happy?"

Victoria took a bite of sandwich, nodding before swallowing. "Reasonably."

"Thank god."

"You're not much of a pain to be around." the blonde spoke. "Even if your hair is stupid."

Chloe began to wonder if it was possible for the brain to boil from sheer rage. Remaining silent, she fed Victoria until she had her fill, and soon they were on the road again.

-/-/-/-/-

Looking at the clock, Chloe saw it was nearly midnight. And her tank was nearly empty. She'd have to stop, and soon, lest she end up stranded on the side of the road. Which her captive would no doubt bitch about until she snapped and shot her, and then herself.

As if by divine providence, a sign advertising a motel/gas station within the next half-mile appeared, and she began pulling into the appropriate lane.

The motel had s vacancy available, and the prices for both the room and gas were cheap. If the manager recognized her, he didn't show it. Then again, she'd been driving all day. She was miles and miles away from the city, and it'd be doubtful if anyone recognized her.

"Hey, wake up." Chloe barked, shaking Victoria from her slumber. "I got us a hotel room."

Blinking sleep away, Victoria stared up at the wannabe criminal. "Say what?"

"I got us a room."

"...I'm flattered, but you're not really my type."

'If there is a hell, this blonde bitch better not be there with me.'

-/-/-/-/-

"A motel? Are you serious!?"

Were Victoria's hands free, she would've clasped them over her mouth in shock. "Haven you ever seen the exposés they do on these places? They're blood and semen factories! And they rarely clean or replace anything. And I bet there's enough bedbugs to fill a chandelier! And--"

Hoisting Victoria up by her legs, Chloe slammed the blonde down onto the bed, staring hard at her with red, sleep-deprived eyes.

"I have been up for seventeen hours." rasped the blue-haired girl. "I have had nothing to eat today except those fries you didn't want and like, two gummy bears. I'm tired, I'm hungry, I have a headache the size of Rushmore, and you know what I'm not in the mood for? Anymore of your FUCKING whining. So help me...so HELP me...if I hear one more word out of you tonight, I'm gonna paint the walls with your blood. DO YOU GET ME, BLONDIE!?"

Silence reigned in the hotel room as Victoria stared at Chloe with wide eyes. The look the criminal sported was manic; a fierce glare, bared teeth, blue hair sticking to her damp forehead.

To Chloe's utter shock, Victoria leaned up and planted a quick kiss on her lips. The teen leaped back, stunned, staring at Victoria as a grin formed on the blonde's lips.

"Has anyone ever told you you're sexy when you're mad?"

-/-/-/-/-

A botched job, panic, anxiety, an (admittedly hot) annoying hostage, frustration, and a secluded motel room. All these things formed a volatile cocktail that resulted with Chloe's face between Victoria's thighs.

She still refused to untie her, and to her amazement (and intense arousal), Victoria didn't mind. Besides, it wasn't her hands she was after.

The blonde's moans filled the room, supple legs wrapped around Chloe's face, squeezing with such force it was a miracle it hasn't popped like a grape. She struggled to catch her breath, but at the rate Chloe was going, it wouldn't be long before she passed out from ecstasy. 

Chloe was ravenous, lapping at the blonde's cunt like it was her last meal (given her fugitive status, that was a fair guess). The sweet taste of her fluids was ambrosia, and each drop only made her crave more, plunging her tongue further and further.

Victoria bit her lip to stifle a scream, a drop of blood appearing on her lips, eyes rolling until the whites were visible. If someone had told her this is how her day would go, she'd have gotten them commuted, or at least asked follow-up questions. 

Another orgasm joined the ever growing number since Chloe started, but after a while she'd found it impossible to keep count. Besides, it was quality over quantity. She just had the good fortune to be with someone who provided both.

An exhausted, satisfied mewl escaped Victoria's mouth as her arched back settled onto the bed. "No...more..." she wheezed, gasping for air. "I'm...gonna...die..."

Chloe removed her face from Victoria's legs, wiping away the last of the girl's juices before crawling on top of her. "And to think..." she purred. "All day long I've been wishing for your death. Except for now, of course."

A bout of weak laughter was Victoria's reply.

As Chloe lay atop the blonde, gazing into her barely conscious face, the finality of what she'd done began to settle in. She'd robbed a bank, abducted her, and had more or less eaten her out to the ends of the universe. 

With the obvious exception of one event, it wasn't exactly what you'd call a good day.

Sensing her bedmate's worry, Victoria gave the blue-haired girl a look of concern. "What's wrong?"

"I'm gonna go to fucking jail..." groaned Chloe, covering her face with her hands.

"Relax, I'm eighteen."

Chloe couldn't help the laugh that spilled from her mouth. "No, I mean...I fucking robbed a bank."

"Badly."

"Shut up. I robbed a bank, abducted you...and...fuck, what we just did..."

"I had no complaints."

"I'm not so sure a jury will see it the same way."

"Relax." Victoria spoke, her energy starting to come back. "I'll just tell my dad it was a simulation for an actual robbery. To make sure everything's up to speed."

Chloe jolted upright, staring down at Victoria. "Your dad owns the bank?!"

"He owns like, half the city."

"...You can't seriously think anyone will buy that story. I fired my gun!"

"Blanks."

"I broke a really nice stained glass lamp!"

"Squib, and it can be written off as a business expense."

"I stole like a thousand dollars!"

"Return it."

"...You're serious. You're serious about this."

"Yes."

The two stared at each other for a long time. Eventually, Chloe broke the silence. "Victoria, if you somehow manage to pull this off and make it so I stay out of prison, I will owe you forever."

The blonde smiled and quirked an eyebrow. "Is that a promise?"

"Chloe Price never goes back on a promise."

-/-/-/-/-

Chloe had done a lot of lying in her life. A lot. Enough to make any politician look legit. So when she bore witness to the web of lies Victoria spun to save her ass from the clink, she saw greatness firsthand, and it took every ounce of self-control she had not to bow right then and there. 

She'd managed to convince the cops, her father, and the bank that Chloe was a 'freelance security tester' whom she had hired on retainer to test the security measures of the bank, as well as the response time of the police. The money was returned, and Victoria's abduction was waved away as 'an authentic hostage scenario'. It was masterful. In a past life, she'd have been an actress.

In the end, all Chloe had to do was pay for a new lamp, and was to remain in the employ of the Chase family as their personal security tester. Which meant she would essentially be paid to rob banks.

That wasn't what threw her for a loop.

It was that, at every bank she was scheduled to 'rob', for some reason...

Victoria was always there.

END


End file.
